Tuesday, November 19, 2013

You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy and farmers.

Growing up on a farm I was forced to do lots of boring yet character forming things as a kid. One of those was the yearly journey to the seed store. If you are new to farming, you may not know that the crops don't just grow out the ground naturally, they need to be planted. The machine that plants the seeds is called a planter. Stay with me here. The farmers also buy the seeds from the seed store. Well, maybe they buy everything online these days, but back when I was a kid that wasn't an option. Farmers are fancier nowadays.

Now, this wasn't just a simple grab and go. Oh no. We had to make time for my dad to grab a Snickers bar and some complimentary coffee. Sprinkle in some conversations with other local area farmers and you've successfully killed two hours of your life.

My brother and I were bored to tears. Sometimes we would amuse ourselves for five minutes by purchasing some soda in a glass bottle from a machine that was made right after the Gettysburg Address. Okay, probably not that old. My point is that life didn't move very fast at the seed store. These old guys were probably still talking about the the JFK assassination. Who knows? I was a kid - I wasn't paying attention.

In many ways this store reminded me of the Old West. There were worn, wooden floors. Wooden chairs. And at the loading dock it looked like someone could pull right up with their wagon and pick up their goods. I think there was a hitching post just outside, but that's probably just my imagination filling in the blanks.

I suppose it wasn't so bad. It would have been worse to grow up on Tatooine and be a damn moisture farmer for the rest of your godforsaken life. And then seeing the crispy bodies of your aunt and uncle after you get back from a joy ride. Oh, and learning that your real father is a sith lord. Okay, I guess it could have been much worse.

Yes Luke, wearing terrible clothing is one of our customs.

Live long and prosper.
- Dapper