Monday, November 21, 2011

What we've got here, is a failure to abbreviate

I recently checked out my Netflix queue and discovered that it has around 175 movies in it.  Some have been in there for years.  I have a feeling that when my grandchildren inherit my account in my Last Will and Testament, they won't get around to watching them either.  So, I'd like to take this time to pour one out and honor some of those films that didn't make the cut.

Spider - 2002 (Ralph Fiennes, some other old people)
I can't quite remember why I even put this in my queue.  A psychological thriller from David Cronenberg.  I don't know, I think I'll stick with A History of Violence or Easter Promises.  Maybe I'll just watch Lord of the Rings too since I obviously have a weird fascination with Viggo Mortensen.

Outsourced - 2006 (Josh Hamilton, a bunch of Indians)
The TV show was really good, so why do I want to watch the movie?  I would rather watch Diedrich "two chicks at the same time" Bader and that wonderful cast instead.

My Blueberry Nights - 2007 (Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Rachel Weisz, Norah Jones)
Jeez, was I drunk?  I can't remember why this even sounded like a good idea.

John Adams - 2008 (Paul "No Merlot" Giamatti, Laura Linney)
Okay, here's the deal, I love these two actors.  But when in the hell am I ever going to be in the mood to watch a mini series on a Founding Father?  Powdered wigs and such.  Probably never.  If I need me some Giamatti, I'll just put Sideways in and call it a day.

I suppose that's a start.  The bad news is that while I was typing this blog, I added three more movies that sounded interesting.  Oh well.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Say hello to my lil' blog

I am the 99%.  I am a blogger.

Hey there, folks.  I thought it was the perfect time to start a blog to share my poignant thoughts, avant-garde films and generally stimulating thoughts on life.  First, a little about myself.  Let's start with the important stuff first.

I started growing my sideburns during my first year of college.  I needed something to take my mind off of calculus, physics and other engineering classes.  I also thought that it would help me make progress with the ladies.  It turns out that only one of these would come true.  After a few weeks, I could see them in the mirror.  How interesting.  How bizarre.  How dapper.

Films have been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  The first film I remember loving was The Neverending Story.  I wanted to be that scruffy, whiny young boy playing the ultimate Choose Your Own Adventure game.  He also got the girl at the end, which was nice.  However, the best part was terrorizing bullies with his gigantic flying alien dog.  Oh precious 1980s, where have you gone?

Well, that's it for now.  In upcoming posts I'll share my thoughts on films (new and old and somewhere in between), some of my own creations, and anything else that comes to mind.