Thursday, October 31, 2013

All Work and No Play Makes Dapper a Dull Blogger

Autumn in Iowa is a wonderful time of year. For a few days each year there is a magical time between the sweltering heat of summer and the soul-sucking cold of winter. I get a chance to cheer on my favorite football teams - the Iowa State Cyclones and the Minnesota Vikings. One thing I do not like is pumpkin-flavored-everything-time. I find it pedantic. And disgusting. Mostly just disgusting.

Since it is Halloween (or Samhain by you purists) today, and it is by far my favorite holiday, I thought I would talk about scary movies and my experience at a haunted bed and breakfast.

A few years ago, my fiance and I foolishly put our lives into our own hands and stayed at a haunted bed and breakfast. True story. We were going to be in Minnesota for a wedding reception so we decided to fire up the ol' Google machine and find out if there were any nice Bed and Breakfasts in the area. Oh cool, there are few to choose from. Neato, one of them is haunted and operated by a psychic. It took us all of three seconds to book that one. Our giddiness soon turned to trepidation. Why the hell did we want to sleep some place where ghosts were frolicking about? No turning back now.

You don't have to be Zak Bagans to tell me that there were some unexplained activities going on in this house. There were too many occurrences of objects moving, unexplained powerful smells at odd times, and the fact that we actually saw a ghostly human figure. Twice.

The first figure we saw while we were driving to get something to eat. It was early dusk and we thought we saw a hitchhiker or someone out wandering on the road. We couldn't see who or what it was, and when we got close enough to it, it had vanished. Not too long after that we went through an "only one stop sign" size of town and heard an old timey police siren.

Our second experience with a spectral being from another realm occurred when we got back from the wedding reception. It was pretty late and no one else was up (lame) so we had to unlock the front door and try to make it back to our room without having our life force sucked out by whatever demons were lurking around every dark corner. We saw an old farmer type with a hat across the dining room and near the kitchen. He was gone in a flash. We ran back to our room at this point, opened our door and quickly locked it behind us. We slept with the lights on that night and I got about 45 minutes of good sleep.

So, if you had a bloody ice pick to my neck and forced me to pick my favorite Halloween movies, these would be it.

The Shining

This is my ultimate favorite. I absolutely love this crazy axe scene. A close second is the big wheel scene when Danny runs into the sisters.


I picked this one mostly because of its history. This was the first movie that we illegally watched as children. And by that I mean that we saw it without our mom's consent. This movie kept my sister and I up all night, scared out of our wits. My bedroom had become some sort of terrible nightmare factory after viewing it. There was no way I was going back in there until it was safe again. I still can't un-see the cockroach scene either.


Tim Curry was so cool in Clue. And he was such a loveable harmless transvestite in the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Why would he turn into an evil clown, hell bent on haunting the dreams of children everywhere? This is another movie I shouldn't have watched as a kid.

Honorable Mentions
The ExorcistRead about the weird stuff that happened behind the scenes too.
Rosemary's Baby
The Omen
Paranormal Activity
The Ring.  The goddamn Ring. Yeah, I've written about this before.
The Exorcism of Emily Rose

Sleep tight.
- Dapper